As the sun set for the last time in 2013, I decided to look back at the kind of year I had.
1. I began in high spirits. JANUARY saw me planning to form a new company with some of my friends. I was excited at the prospect but also a little anxious. I didn’t know if it was a good idea and wasn’t sure what the future held. I was nervous.
2. FEBRUARY cured all my tensions, anxieties and fears about the company; just like that. My health deteriorated and I was advised complete bed rest by the doctors. All my previous problems vanished along with all my previous plans. But obviously this had its negatives. I did not know what to do, and had no idea how or when I would be able to get up again.
3. In MARCH this problem was gone as well. I was not as confused as I had been. The doctors told me that I was not getting up any time soon. The certainty was great. Now, I knew where I stood and I could plan the future fairly certain that I was going to stay in bed for quite a while. But obviously this was not enough. I still had the problem of what to do. I knew I wasn’t getting up soon but I wanted to know how or when I could get up.
4. APRIL solved that problem. I was told that I needed to get surgery and only then would I be able to sit again. The clarity was wonderful. However there was a downside. I hate surgeries especially when I am the one being operated on. And I was scared.
5. MAY took care of the fear. When I decided that the surgery was not possible in Pakistan, I had the much bigger problem of how to arrange my surgery in UK. The amount of money required was huge and I had no way to arrange it. And then there were all kinds of other issues. So my fear of surgery was forgotten. Obviously it was replaced with other, bigger concerns; most of all, where to get the money from.
6. JUNE brought with it all the money I needed, and that too from a source I could not have imagined in my wildest dreams. My problems were solved. But there was a downside. Now I had the problem of arranging my trip. And that was a task that looked huge at that time.
7. JULY reduced the enormity of the task as one after another of the issues kept getting resolved. And by the end of the month, I was ready to fly. Now my mind was struck with anxiety again. I wondered how hard it would be in the UK.
8. AUGUST saw me land in the UK and I had the time of my life. The hospital was great, the staff and doctors thoroughly professional, and spending all day in the midst of pretty goris was not the worst of it. However, there still was the issue of the surgery and my old fears and anxieties of March were back.
9. SEPTEMBER put an end to all the anxiety again as the doctors told me that I would not need surgery after all. That I would be back to my healthy self soon. I was excited. I even started writing a novel. The concern now was that my stay was being prolonged and some new complications were raising their ugly heads. With time, money and patience running out, I did not like the situation.
10. OCTOBER resolved the issue as I finished my novel and flew back to Pakistan feeling better than I had felt all year. I was allowed to sit for a few hours a day and then see how things went. I was positive about my chances but still a little scared about how soon I would be back to sitting for as long as I wanted.
11. NOVEMBER was great. My sitting time kept getting longer and longer until I was almost back to where I was in January. I felt a deep satisfaction. And my old concerns were back now. What to do with my life? Should I start thinking about the company again? Or try to get my book published? Or something else? It was taxing on the mind.
12. DECEMBER proved up to the task as all the other months had. It erased all the concerns of the previous month. My health deteriorated again and now I am again on bed. Complete bed rest and I have no idea how or when I would get up. But I am not bothered. I know there is JANUARY just around the corner.
2013 has taught me that there are always troubles but they are always resolved and then always replaced by new troubles which are in turn resolved and replaced by still new ones. That’s life. It’s how you handle the troubles and what you achieve despite them that counts. I can’t wait for 2014 and what it will bring. Bring it on!