SOCIAL CONFORMITY (2ND REPORT TO KHHHTGHHH)

 Dear Khhhtghhh! We’ve been here a while now and we still don’t see much chance of learning anything from these creatures. We strongly feel that the rumor about these humans being God’s best creation might have been some other life-form’s idea of a joke. However, we also think that we are not in a position to pass a final judgment yet since these creatures are not that easy to understand. They confuse us, and they seem to be even more confused themselves.

 It is hard to explain how totally ridiculously unsure they are. They seem to be extremely conscious of the fact that none of them strays too much from the norm and at the same time they appear so keen to be different from each other. We saw some of them who were unlike the others and all they could do was complain about that fact. Some cannot see, others cannot walk and so on and all of such humans were constantly whining about how terrible they felt since they were not the same as everyone else. But at the same time, those members of the race who are as average as one could possibly get keep wishing to be different. Even at such a basic level, these people do not seem to know what they want. We really doubt if, with such a confused idea of things, they could ever achieve anything of note, or anything that could justify the claim of them being the best of all creations.

 And yes! The funniest thing about this whole matter is the amount of importance they give to all this uncertainty. They actually spend a lot time, money and energy and mostly go against their own desires only to make sure that they do not become too different and are not noticed or criticized by other humans. Also, though it sounds impossible, they spend tons of money and time trying to look, sound and be different. We are at a loss of words to explain fully what we are seeing. But we are determined to find out more. Till next report.

 

KHHHTGHHH

Khhhtghhh is a guy living on a distant planet. The beings on that planet (which I am not naming since the information is strictly confidential and any public disclosure of the name might cause something that neither I nor anyone else on Earth is capable of understanding) had heard a lot about humans. They had been led to believe that humans were a wonderful creation, the best performance by God yet and naturally, this information led to a lot of curiosity among the inhabitants of the planet that I cannot name due to reasons quoted above.

So, Khhhtghhh thought up a plan, which basically comprised of sending a few of the inhabitants of the planet that I cannot name to Earth so that they could come back with vital data about humans, data that could help Khhhtghhh and others improve themselves and try to match the supremacy of the so-called human race. The only problem with the plan was that since Khhhgthhh or anyone else on the planet was totally unaware of these humans, they did not know how they would react to the presence of this group and whether there was any threat to the group’s lives from the humans.

After a lot of deliberation it was decided by Khhhtghhh that the only way to find the answer to all this was to send the group anyway. If they died, so be it. The first duty assigned to the group was to report on the reaction of the humans. One day after landing on Earth, the group sent this simple report (how I know of this report is even more confidential)

“Dear Khhhtghhh! Your fears are baseless. The humans are not equipped to see beyond three-dimensional objects, nor can they hear or feel beyond a certain limit, so we are completely safe. As far as our mission is concerned, we don’t expect a lot of success since these beings not only have limited senses, they are also arrogant enough to ignore a number of things that they can actually see. We do not see much chance of learning anything here.

P.S. We must thank the creator of this story here for showing a little imagination and naming you Khhhtghhh. Usual alien names are so clichéd. At least he realized that if there was life on another planet, it is highly improbable that they would have names that involve the same syllables or alphabets as humans. Till next report.”