Ludicrates

Ludicrates was a Geek philosopher that none of you would have heard of, primarily because he did not actually exist. Now, Ludicrates had a terrible fear of heights, a problem that initially frustrated him and later on in his life, intrigued him. Especially when he realized that a number of people around him suffered from the same fear, he got immensely interested and decided to give the matter its due share of thought. After years and years of acute observation, he found that children who received proper education were much more likely to develop this fear later on in their lives than the ones who were, so to speak, illiterate, or more precisely, unschooled.

So Ludicrates came up with a theory and said that the reason for this fear among recipients of formal education was that they had been taught repeatedly that

1. When Jack and Jill went up the hill, Jack fell down and broke his crown. And of course, Jill came tumbling after.

2. When Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, he had a great fall. And although the king’s horses could not be expected to perform such an intricate task, even the king’s men could not put him together again.

3. When the baby rocked in its cradle on the top of a tree, the bough broke and the baby came down with the cradle and all.

4. Urdu sayings like har urooj ko zawal hai and English ones like ‘whatever goes up must come down’ have stood the test of time.

In short, Ludicrates concluded that education instills a terrible fear of heights in the hearts of people which has grave consequences. Other than the fact that it makes their lives pretty miserable, especially when they have to stand at a high place, this fear causes educated people to stay away from the pursuit of high office and high positions. Hence, the only people who manage to get really high up in the world are the ones who either never got to go to school or if they did, failed to get any real education. When the teacher was repeating nursery rhymes or famous sayings, they weren’t listening. Ludicrates, for the rest of his life, kept wishing that the educated people would come to realize that it was not necessary that whatever fears they had picked up from school were true. He wished that they would understand that Jack and Jill, more often than not, do come back safe and sound, and with a pail of water too.

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