Shuntoo on Marriage

Shuntoo had just managed to annoy yet another person to the extent that he had left my house in a hasty rage and I felt that something urgently needed to be done about this extremely bothersome attitude of this son of a bitch. I knew I was asking for trouble but he was a friend after all, sort of. So I suggested

“Why don’t you get married Shuntoo?” He shot a glance at me that should have made me stop in the middle of my sentence but unfortunately I am too used to his bullshit to get these signals anymore. So I continued, “I think it will help you become more positive and solve your……”

“Stop right there” he barked. “Where am I here? Have I just walked into some clichéd, pathetic Lollywood movie where all problems are to be solved by marrying the hero off? Regardless of the fact that I do not feel any need to become more positive or to solve anything, your advice bacchay is disappointing to say the least. What are you? Some sort of parent in a red robe?”

“Don’t you think that if parents believe this stuff, there might be some wisdom in it? I mean after all they have experience and marriage does solve some problems.” I tried to sound logical.

“Crap!” He said. “Marriage does not solve any problem. It just makes it someone else’s problem, and the parents can then relax and listen to the issues not as their problem, but simply as gossip.”

“Now you are being unfair.”

“What is marriage?” he asked. “Give me your opinion.”

“Well” I tried to think quickly. “It’s when a man and a woman love each other so much that they want to spend their entire lives together and ……..”

“Oh! Please bacchay!” the bastard didn’t let me finish, as usual. “I think I am going to cry. Not because what you said was so pseudo-romantic. But because it was too shallow for my poor mind to bear. Anyway, these so-called wise parents of yours do not approve of such marriages anyway. But what if a man does not love any woman that much, cannot even think about trying to imagine a woman that he could love that much. What if he does not want to live with anyone for the rest of his life.”

“That is just….” I tried.

“Most marriages here” the bastard did it again, “are just contracts that are entered into to please the wise parents, sometimes in the belief that maybe, just maybe they would solve problems. Most nice couples get married and then spend their lives trying to love each other so much that they would want to spend their lives together. And when they fail they spend the rest of their lives convincing themselves that it was someone else’s fault. So many marriages fail these days, don’t you see? Only because nobody knows why they’re getting married. They just do it because everyone is doing it. And everyone is doing it because everyone else is doing it. No one is sure why?”

“O wise philosopher! Why don’t you tell me why one should get married!” I said sarcastically.

“Why should I?” he said. “I don’t give a shit about people who are in no mood to think for themselves. Let them spend their lives with their brains on auto-pilot. Marriage, education, profession, family, all these are just words now. We do not have a clue what they mean and we are neither willing to find out nor admit that we don’t know. So we keep producing idiots who get married because their parents say so, then try to justify their act by the stupidest of arguments, and finally use those stupid arguments to convince their children to get married. What a bunch of morons!”

“Are you seriously challenging the whole social structure here?” I was amused. “You love saying controversial things, don’t you.”

“I like speaking the truth bacchay” he said calmly, “and truth is always controversial.”

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