Shuntoo: Sane Conversation

I have never been able to clearly understand Shuntoo or my feelings towards him. I am not even sure if I hate him from the core of my heart or idealize him for having such unusual qualities or both. But one thing that I have never approved of is his complete indifference to other people. He rarely recognizes their existence, never talks to them unless forced to and acts in the most arrogant and conceited of manners. So, when he came unexpectedly yesterday, I was a little pissed off as I was expecting a dear friend and I did not want Shuntoo to be there to ruin the evening. Not having the courage to ask him to get out in a purely Shuntoo-ish straightforward fashion, I decided to try and convince him to act normally for a change.

“I am expecting a dear old friend in a short while.” I began as Shuntoo sat looking as disinterested as always.

“Are you listening?” I asked. He simply nodded his head. “Good,” I continued, “I just want to request you to try and have a normal conversation for once. I do not want my friend to feel uncomfortable.”

And irritating as ever, Shuntoo smiled; one of those patronizing, insulting, You-don’t-know-shit smiles. “What the hell are you smiling at?”

“At your innocent, naïve request.” He said

“Meaning you cannot have a polite, logical, sane conversation with a human being?”

“Maybe, but if your friend is a normal human being, then I am sorry. Normal human beings are not capable of logical and sane conversations. That is why I avoid conversations with them in the first place.”

“How arrogant of you! Why would they not be capable of normal, sane conversations?”

“I don’t know. Probably because they’re stupid.”

“You are such a ………..” and as usual he did not let me complete my sentence.

“There, there bacchay! Ok listen. Human beings are dumb, stupid creatures, more concerned with proving that they are not dumb than actually doing something to get smarter. People are so busy in pretending to know everything that they don’t have any time to actually get to know something. Their personalities are so fake that most of them have themselves forgotten what they are. Their knowledge is shallow, their ideas borrowed, their philosophies plagiarized, their words mere sounds and when they get into a debate, it is not to increase their or the others’ knowledge, it is just to get the satisfaction that they were right. They would never correct their faults, they would prove that they don’t have any or die trying.”

“I think you better leave before my friend arrives then…”

“Ha! I just arrived. I am not leaving without a cup of coffee.”

And I, not for the first time in my life, regretted the day I first met this son of a bitch.

Shuntoo: The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth

I want to appreciate Shuntoo for his truthfulness but sometimes I am not sure if it is such a good idea to tell the truth, especially the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I want to blame him and curse him for such an attitude but sometimes I realize that he never tells it on his own. He only gives a dose of truth to those who ask for it. I want to exonerate him on this ground but sometimes I feel that the people who ask for it have absolutely no idea what they are asking for. So in the end I mostly decide to reserve my judgment until I can get at least a faint idea of what this son of a bitch is all about.

At a small gathering the other day, another innocent common man faced the wrath of Shuntoo’s inexplicably unreactive and straightforward attitude. This young man was giving his views about the current political crisis and, visibly impressed by Shuntoo’s nonchalance, was keen to get his reaction on thoughts that he considered original and ingenious.

When Shuntoo did not appear to even acknowledge the presence of the young man, and seemed too engrossed in studying the patterns smoke from his Marlboro was making in the air, the boy stopped and addressed him directly.

“What do you think?” He asked, desperate to get a positive reaction from Shuntoo.

“About what?” Shuntoo asked in the least interested manner ever observed in the history of the world.

“About my opinions?”

“Ha!” Shuntoo exclaimed. “What makes you believe I think about your opinions?”

“But weren’t you listening? I……”

“No, I wasn’t.” Shuntoo tried to end the conversation. But the young man was adamant at getting an opinion from him.

“But I just analyzed….”

“I don’t give a shit what you analyzed.” Shuntoo said in a calm voice not suited at all for such an indifferently rude comment.

“But why?”

“No reason. I guess I don’t like your face.”

“Wha….” The boy couldn’t believe what he had just heard. “There’s absolutely nothing wrong with my face.”

“Ha!” he said again. “Might be. I just think you look too dumb for any reasonable analysis of anything. I might be wrong, but that’s what I think.”

“Look mister, you cannot say …….”

“I don’t care about your views on what I can or cannot say. You look too dumb for me to take any of your views seriously.”

“You are the most unbelievably arrogant and …….”

“Sorry kakay. No use; I won’t take anything you say seriously.”

“But why?” the boy was now almost screaming.

“Your face kakay, your face.”

And he continued smoking as I felt my cheeks turn red.