Shuntoo on Facebook

“You aren’t very active on facebook?” I asked Shuntoo just to make conversation. I had been busy scanning my facebook page for a good half hour while he sat smoking and thinking about heaven knows what. And I was a little concerned that I was being a terrible host.

“Yes I know.” He replied.

“Why?”

“I don’t need a reason not to be active on facebook.”

“But…….”

“Okay, let’s just say that I, unlike you guys, do not have a reason to be active on the bloody thing.”

“Meaning?” I just never learn.

“Meaning? Well, Bachhay! Meaning that I do not have self-esteem issues and I do not enjoy a false sense of social acceptance if I get a lot a ‘likes’ on my statuses, pictures or comments.”

“But surely, you don’t mean that……”

“Meaning that I do not fulfill my needs of love and belonging from the number of pictures or posts that I am tagged in.” The son of a bitch continued ignoring me. “Meaning that I do not want to see how happy and smoochie couples are in the illusion of their relationship that they have created on this site.

“But…..” I regretted asking him the question.

“Meaning that I am not a big fan of viewing others’ profiles to see what is going on in their lives, especially when those profiles don’t actually give that information anyway but are instead filled with either an exaggeration of how good a time they are having in an effort to make others envious or an exaggeration of how miserable their lives are in an effort to get sympathies.”

“Now……. you are the most negative-minded person I ever met, Shuntoo. There are benefits of facebook.”

“Hey hey, bachhay” he said in that typical, annoyingly patronizing tone. “You don’t have to justify yourself. I have nothing against you having fun on facebook. Of course you have some issues that need solutions from social networking sites. And obviously you are not put off by all the hearts and muuaaahs and awwwws and fake concerns etc. You also might have a thing for all the fake quotes and sayings of prophets that end up impressing people despite being misquoted.” And he laughed.

“You are right! I do not need to justify myself to you.”

“Like.” He said with the most irritating of smiles.

“What do you mean like, you bastard.”

“Unlike.” He said and started laughing again.

“Shuntoo, you are the limit.”

“Share.” I just gave up after that.

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