Shuntoo the son of a bitch

Shuntoo might be the most selfish, rude, obnoxious and unreasonable son of a bitch you’ll ever set your eyes on, but you’ve got to hand him one thing. He is an honest son of a bitch. He does not lie. Once I asked him about this, because a person who does not lie is a miracle of Nature and I was always confused why he felt this silly urge to always tell the truth. Imagine, he doesn’t even lie about his whereabouts on the telephone and never asks anyone to tell a visitor that he is not home.

His reply was again a lesson in truthfulness. “Its simple man,” he said, “the trick is not to give a shit about other people. If they can’t handle the truth, it’s their problem. If I have a visitor I don’t want to meet, I simply tell him that I am home, but I am in no mood to watch his frigging face or listen to his absurd crap. If he has an issue with it, so be it. I won’t worry myself over how a sissy would react to my honest opinion.”

I was, naturally, amazed. “That’s too much even for you, Shuntoo,” I said. “How can you be so rude? How can you hurt someone’s feelings like that?”

“Feelings schmeelings,” he explained. “The law gives me the freedom to choose the shit I want to listen to and the bullshit I want to see. There is no legislation that forces one to entertain any moron that comes knocking at his door. And doesn’t the religion also say that knock on a door thrice and if there’s no answer, just go back? Now, doesn’t that, by implication, allow you to refuse to see someone if you don’t feel like it? Of course, in this age of doorbells, you can’t simply not answer. So I tell them frankly. When the law and the religion are fine with something, I don’t fret about that moron’s personal views. I have enough on my mind as it is.”

Then he smiled and left, but not before elaborating his reasons for leaving, “I am not leaving because I have to be somewhere or I’m not feeling well or any of that pansy logic. I just don’t want to sit with you anymore and at this moment, I have had so much of you that I feel anything would be better. So bye friend. See you later.”

I wonder.

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