Shuntoo: Sane Conversation

I have never been able to clearly understand Shuntoo or my feelings towards him. I am not even sure if I hate him from the core of my heart or idealize him for having such unusual qualities or both. But one thing that I have never approved of is his complete indifference to other people. He rarely recognizes their existence, never talks to them unless forced to and acts in the most arrogant and conceited of manners. So, when he came unexpectedly yesterday, I was a little pissed off as I was expecting a dear friend and I did not want Shuntoo to be there to ruin the evening. Not having the courage to ask him to get out in a purely Shuntoo-ish straightforward fashion, I decided to try and convince him to act normally for a change.

“I am expecting a dear old friend in a short while.” I began as Shuntoo sat looking as disinterested as always.

“Are you listening?” I asked. He simply nodded his head. “Good,” I continued, “I just want to request you to try and have a normal conversation for once. I do not want my friend to feel uncomfortable.”

And irritating as ever, Shuntoo smiled; one of those patronizing, insulting, You-don’t-know-shit smiles. “What the hell are you smiling at?”

“At your innocent, naïve request.” He said

“Meaning you cannot have a polite, logical, sane conversation with a human being?”

“Maybe, but if your friend is a normal human being, then I am sorry. Normal human beings are not capable of logical and sane conversations. That is why I avoid conversations with them in the first place.”

“How arrogant of you! Why would they not be capable of normal, sane conversations?”

“I don’t know. Probably because they’re stupid.”

“You are such a ………..” and as usual he did not let me complete my sentence.

“There, there bacchay! Ok listen. Human beings are dumb, stupid creatures, more concerned with proving that they are not dumb than actually doing something to get smarter. People are so busy in pretending to know everything that they don’t have any time to actually get to know something. Their personalities are so fake that most of them have themselves forgotten what they are. Their knowledge is shallow, their ideas borrowed, their philosophies plagiarized, their words mere sounds and when they get into a debate, it is not to increase their or the others’ knowledge, it is just to get the satisfaction that they were right. They would never correct their faults, they would prove that they don’t have any or die trying.”

“I think you better leave before my friend arrives then…”

“Ha! I just arrived. I am not leaving without a cup of coffee.”

And I, not for the first time in my life, regretted the day I first met this son of a bitch.

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