Dear Khhhtghhh! The more we live among humans, the more we are fascinated by their languages, and that is not because the languages are fascinatingly good; in fact they are fascinatingly dumb. They have a huge number of words and sounds in all languages that they use (yes! Amazingly they have not yet developed a single language that the whole species can speak and understand) but they normally use a small portion of that vocabulary. A large proportion of the words are rare and too complicated for the common speakers to understand and are sparingly used by members of the race who are, or want to be, considered intellectually superior.

 But what is most fascinating is that there are words that are almost universally used but nobody knows for sure what they mean (at least that is what we think!). The best example of such a word is ‘Love’. We have tried and tried but still fail to understand its meaning. Humans use this word so commonly and for so many different things that we are at a total loss to comprehend its essence. From what we understand, when someone says “I just love beef burger” he means that he really likes the taste of the food, obviously the same meaning does not fit when someone claims to ‘love his country’, in which case it denotes a feeling humans call patriotism.

There are infinite other things, which the humans call love, even though they have other words to better explain the same emotion or feeling within their languages. For instance, love is used in places where lust would suit better. It is also commonly used where the more accurate expression would be desire to possess, or insecurity, or greed, or obligation and so on. After centuries of such universal use, humans seem to have forgotten the real meaning and we actually came across a couple where the boy said “I love you” meaning that he desired to have sex with the girl and the girl understood the exact same sentence as meaning that he was willing to provide physical, financial, social and psychological security to her for the rest of their lives. We would not be surprised if one or both of them end up disillusioned.

From what little we have learnt, humans simply use the word ‘Love’ to exaggerate or provide respectability to feelings that are otherwise trivial and mundane. But they don’t bother, life goes on for them, albeit in an extremely confusing manner.



Dear Khhhtghhh! We are so shocked by our latest discovery that we just do not know how to properly convey it to you. We have already told you that humans can be at only one place at one time. But that is not the complete picture of these poor creatures’ plight. Believe it or not, they can only move in one direction in time and they call it moving forward. They believe that time is linear and goes like a straight line, so not only are they totally unaware of the complete expanse of time, these miserable beings cannot even move ‘backwards’ in time. So they spend their ignorant lives just moving forward, they have but one chance at any given moment and whatever happens in that moment, they are completely powerless to change it afterwards.

But that is not all. As we have learnt from our stay here, humans have plenty of limitations but they also have this uncanny ability to enhance their effects by their stupidity. Let us explain. Despite the fact that they cannot change their past, they spend an unbelievable amount of time dwelling on it. They have all kinds of emotions that they call by different names, all of which are in one way or the other related to their past.

They feel sadness or grief (which is basically feeling bad about something that has already happened and cannot be changed), anger (a feeling of aggression against something that was done or said in the past), regret (wishing that they had done something they didn’t or had not done something they did), nostalgia (remembering a past moment and feeling bad that it has gone) and many many more.

Interestingly for us (and stupidly for them) they do not seem to be even remotely concerned about the present, which is the moment that they can actually do something about. They spend their present either worrying about the future or remembering their past until the present becomes the past as well, and then they start remembering that. I know it is confusing, but that is how they live. We think it is pretty pathetic, but none of them appears to be bothered about it, they just keep moving in time and keep looking back towards things they cannot do anything about. They are like vehicles moving at top speed where the whole windscreen is actually a rear-view mirror. No wonder then that their lives are so full of accidents.