1. PPP with PML-Q ——- PML-N with MQM
  2. Junaid Jamshed quits show business for religion, then comes back, then quits again, and finally ends up giving religious sermons in Ramazan in addition to hosting a religious game show on the pattern of KBC.
  3. Misbah-ul-Haq finally makes it to the national cricket team in his thirties, throws away his wicket and loses the match in the T20 Final against India, then gradually disappears into oblivion again, only to come back as Test captain and then throw away the World Cup Semi Final against India due to slow batting and ends up being Pakistan’s captain in all formats of the game.
  4. Before that, Shoaib Malik admits cheating on Live TV and is soon after made captain of the national team. A little later, Shahid Afridi chews on the balls in front of live cameras totally insulting the intelligence of everyone concerned with cricket rules and………..you guessed it, is made captain soon after.
  5. Sahir Lodhi!
  6. Asif Ali Zardari becomes the President of Pakistan despite the large number of corruption cases against him, despite titles like Mr.10% and despite the fact that even his late wife did not allow him any role in politics.
  7. Rehman Malik is appointed Interior Minister in charge of inland security of 180 million people despite the fact that he was in charge of the security of one woman and failed miserably.
  8. Mathira!
  9. People of Pakistan who are under continuous threat of being killed by some terrorist, completely broken by the dismal economy and praying for electricity even if at exorbitant rates, are regularly fined by traffic police for not wearing a seatbelt on the pretext that it is dangerous for them.
  10. One look at the economic condition of Pakistan and another the buildings on the Constitutional Avenue.



Meaningless piece of shit

I want to write something but I just cannot think of anything meaningful to write about. But when has that ever stopped anyone from doing anything? So I have decided to write a meaningless piece of shit, which in itself is a silly statement since I have never seen or known any piece of shit that was meaningful.

And who knows, by the time I am done writing this, it might cease to be as meaningless as I think it is. Who knows, it might end up as some philosophy that changes someone’s life. Isn’t it true that all a piece needs to become life-changing is someone who is ready to change his or her life after reading it? Or is it? I mean if no life is actually changed by a piece of absolutely great literature, can it be technically called life-changing? I guess not. So then life-changing is an attribute dependent on the reaction of the readers and has little to do with the quality of the piece itself.

Hail the power of the reader, the watcher, the listener, because these are the people who stamp the mark of greatness on a novel, a film or a piece of music. What if no one had liked Mona Lisa? Would the taste of the world in general have been questioned or would the painting have been dumped as a meaningless piece of shit?

Funny world we live in!


Happy People

No latest research that I know of has revealed that the cause of most tensions, worries and depressions is a lack of freedom. And this non-existent research does not talk about the freedom which it is the responsibility of governments or society to provide. It talks about freedom that an individual gives himself.

So according to this research, if one wants to be free from worries, one has to give oneself as much freedom as possible. People who are too organized are unfortunate since they are always running after deadlines. People who have simple schedules are happier. Worried people plan to achieve small targets within small time periods; happy ones plan to achieve the larger target at the end of the day. Both can succeed and both can fail, but failure for the latter comes once … at the end and the smart ones simply shrug and make another long term plan.

Happy people also delay a lot. If you fail to do something in time, do it after time, or better yet, never at all. Procrastination, after all, is one of those very few things that are easier done than said. So relax. All of us want to be happy, anyone who is happy succeeds. I just can’t comprehend how people can be successful but not happy; there is something basically wrong with that bargain.

No one has conducted this research…………..and I think I completely agree with no one.

I think no one should write something like “Seven Habits of the Chill and Happy People!”


I am stupid

When I was born, I was stupid and remained so for many years. What else can you call the kind of things a baby does, crying, drooling, speaking gibberish, laughing for no specific reason. As I grew up, well, I have no idea if I ceased being stupid but I did learn that what is much more important than not being stupid is not being considered stupid. And to do that, all you have to do is not do the stuff the society considers stupid. Of course, if the society itself is stupid, you will not be considered stupid if you act stupidly. However, you might be perceived as stupid if you act wisely. But nobody knows if the society is stupid or not since society itself is the judge of that and nobody would have the shamelessness to admit that he or she is stupid.

So, I guess it is next to impossible to know if I am actually stupid or not. In a world occupied by babies, not drooling or speaking in understandable language might just be considered stupid. I think what I am trying to say here is that a stupid dog among intelligent humans is a stupid dog. But in the company of dogs, he is just stupid and among stupid humans, he is just a dog. But what about a wise human in the company of stupid dogs. Hmmm! He might be a stupid cow since stupid dogs won’t really know what to make of him. Understand? No? That’s fine, just hope that no one understands. That way none of us will be stupid.

Time is a funny little thing

I was just thinking about something I have heard thousands of times. That time does not come back, a moment gone is gone forever. Come to think of it, it is a weirdly uncomfortable thought. Just imagine! A moment that you spent watching porn will forever be occupied by that one act, there’s nothing you can do about it. So, for eternity, you will be watching porn in that moment. Funny!