My God! What a load of crap!

There is hardly anyone who has not heard this story before since it is told almost invariably whenever there is a discussion on optimism and pessimism. It is about two guys who looked out of the same window, one saw the filth on the ground while the other saw stars in the sky. I have always found it unconvincing. The major reason is that I think this story is incomplete. I mean what the hell does it even mean that the two saw different things. What matters is what happened afterwards. So, I have tried to complete the story here.

The guy who saw stars dreamt of somehow getting to them and seeing the fascinating worlds hidden in them. The other one, however, simply thought “My God! What a load of crap!” So the next day, the so-called pessimist went down and cleaned up the whole place, turning it into a pretty garden, and just as he was admiring the new beauty of the place, the so-called optimist tried to get to the stars by flying and fell from the high window from where the two had looked out the previous night. The so-called pessimist looked at his shattered bones, spilled blood and guts, and cracked skull and thought “My God! What a load of crap!”

Remind me to throw up when…

  1. MQM joins the government again.
  2. Any Political Leader says Humara Mulk Aik Intihayi Nazuk Daur se Guzar Raha Hai!
  3. Kamran Khan Says Qayamat-e-Sughra ka manzar hai
  4. A Newscaster says Sadar ne nihayat afsos ka izhar kiya
  5. A Bollywood heroine says Mein tumharey bacchey ki maan banney wali hun
  6. Mathira says Koochi Koochi Koo
  7. Aamir Liaqat Hussain says Wah Wah Subhan Allah! Kya kehnay
  8. Yousuf Raza Gillani says Jahan tak blah blah ka taalaq hai
  9. Meera says …………………… well, anyt hing
  10. Anyone from the government mentions Picchli Hakumat



You don’t understand me

“The world does not understand me.” I have heard this complaint so many times, I just might throw up the next time someone utters this vulgarity. Why should the world or anyone in the world understand me? Conversely, why should I, since I am a part of this world, be obligated to understand anyone? It is unfair. Such an exercise is a direct challenge to the fundamental human right of not having to get off my butt if I don’t want to.

Isn’t it infinitely more important for me to understand myself? And I don’t even try to do that. Firstly, because it is a very difficult and secondly because of the fundamental right I just mentioned. Why do we even need to understand anyone, even ourselves? Aren’t we comfortable with our false egos, our misconceptions, our baseless assumptions, our whimsical ideas and our false beliefs? Anyone who tries to change this beautiful structure of reputations, impressions and characters that stands in the air without any foundation; anyone who tries to replace it with a perception based on truth; anyone who challenges the comfort zone of people even though it might be a recipe for eternal damnation; anyone who attempts any of these is risking loss of every illusory asset he has.

I do not want to be a part of the problem. Any interest in any truth will cause huge non-existent problems for the whole false edifice where we thrive in imaginary comforts. Why cause such illusive hardships for everyone? Why not just live our lives in the falsity we like, since such a life contains the delusion of eternal bliss. We have always preferred false hope to real threats, why change now?


Ten kinds of people who live on filthy streets

  1. Those who just do not know the difference between cleanliness and filth and live as if it makes absolutely no difference whether they are in a gutter or a palace.
  2. Those who do know the difference but choose to ignore it. They believe that if they don’t think about the filth it will cease to matter, and to them it eventually does cease to matter. They spend their days ensuring that they can somehow survive despite the filth.
  3. Those who notice the filth but feel that it is their destiny to keep on living in the shithole. They curse their fate and bad fortune of having been born in the street and that too without the resources to move out. They keep looking for sympathy from anyone with enough time to listen to their woes.
  4. Those who feel that the filth is mainly due to the other uncivilized people living in the street and consider it a serious injustice that they are being made to share the locality with them. They loathe the filthy people of filthy street but do little else.
  5. Those who see themselves as saviors of the street and spend their days holding rallies and gatherings shouting aloud the benefits of cleanliness and the harms of filth. They end up totally frustrated by the lack of response from the crude populace but are satisfied that at least they have tried their best.
  6. Those who go door to door trying to convince people that they should join hands to clean the street together but end up cursing the others’ insensitivity as they hardly get any response.
  7. Those who build houses on other cleaner streets and keep moving to and from filthy street whenever they feel like. These people curse the street when they are away and curse it some more when they get back.
  8. Those who keep repeating how filthy the street is, without doing anything else about it. They get a lot of fame and money out of their unique talent of getting information about all kinds of filth quickly and in great detail.
  9. Those who make promises to clean up the street and get people to pour in funds only to realize that the task is impossible within the limited supply of integrity and will. They end up spending most of the funds building houses on other streets for themselves and ensuring that they keep getting more money.
  10. Those very few ones who clean up their own houses and the part of the street in front of their houses. They have to keep cleaning up day in and day out. These people are the only hope for the street as they are at least getting rid of as much filth as they can. Alas! They are too few to make any visible difference, but some believe that without them, the street would have become uninhabitable by now.

God bless our street!


Its just one night

Depression was a small word for what he felt. In a matter of months, he had lost everything he had. He was distraught, shattered, dead inside. He wanted to end his life but did not have the courage to even do that. He sat still, his head bowed, tears rolling down his cheeks, without any hope, without any strength, just a pile of bones and flesh, without any life. He did not notice the old man approaching him until he was standing right above him. “Hang on buddy!” the old man said with a smile, “It’s just one night, because somehow, everything is going to be fine tomorrow.”

To this day, he does not know why, but he believed the old man. Suddenly he recovered enough strength to fight for one more day. And as he lay in bed waiting for everything to be fine tomorrow, he suddenly realized the truth. All he had ever needed was just the strength to survive today. He had only to understand that today was all that mattered. And he did not need to believe that somehow tomorrow everything would be fine, but that kind of faith helped. Tomorrow never comes, it is just a beacon of hope and it was always up to him to choose to focus on that beacon or on the darkness surrounding it. Today was all there ever was and all there ever will be. And ever since that fateful evening, that is exactly what he has been doing; living for the todays. And you always have enough strength for that.

Neckties and Morality

Life is short. So we don’t want to waste any time getting too deep into the meaning of things or the logic behind them. Hence, we do certain things without the faintest clue about their reason or utility. For instance, we say Hello when answering the phone, wear neckties, clap when we want to appreciate someone, shout “Hurray” when excited, shake hands with people we meet etc. The list is probably endless, and even if it isn’t, I would not want to check and waste any more space since I think you get the idea.


However, while learning these absurd looking rules of behavior, we mostly get carried away and don’t realize that this blind following of what everyone else around us does should only be limited to such trivial stuff as listed above. Sadly, we proceed to apply the same principle of “Do as they do, don’t think, don’t try to understand, don’t ask” in other more important things as well, things like the religion we follow, the beliefs we have, the kind of people we like, the kind we hate, our concepts of morality, justice, equity and truth. I might be wrong, but I just feel that there should be a way of differentiating between where not to think too much because life is short, and where to think really hard because…….well, life is short.




The wanna be authors in Pakistan

A few learning’s for writers who want to be authors: If you live in Pakistan and want to get a book published that has nothing to do with Politics, religion, or oppression. If you are unfortunately happy and want to write happy. The chances of becoming an author are very bleak. Here is why:

  1. Big publishers would not even read you script
  2. Small publishers act more like printers. Your book, your money their name
  3. If you do get a publisher you will have to re-write the whole thing. Your creativity does not mean anything.
  4. If you are desperate enough put in your own money or find an investor to get the damn thing printed.
  5. Now you enter one of the biggest cartel of distributors @Liberty books will charge you 50% if not more on retail price. If you know someone there they might bring it down a bit, but you will be paid nearly after a month after your book is sold.
  6. If you go to small encouragers of writing such as @The Last word. You will be luck to receive a reply.
  7. The solution: make sure you belong to the intellectuals or the influential’s. the later matters more
  8. Get in the cool crowd. You can write mediocre but should be cool enough to hang with
  9. Value your work and be happy to see the first dummy of your book before it goes to print. Expensive but worth it
  10. Keep at it with the hope that people in this field actually start reading or at least begin to understand the value of a product they call a BOOK