Probably the most annoying are the stupid questions people keep asking.
- They call you in the middle of the night and then ask “Did I disturb you?” For heaven’s sake man, even if I was not sleeping, you should be very sure that whatever I was doing, a call at that hour is disturbing.
- You enter your house or office all drenched and they inquire “Is it raining?” What else did you think, Einstein? That I took a shower in my car?
- Sitting in a restaurant, they would conveniently point to a dish on the menu and ask the waiter “Is this good?” What response do they expect from an employee of the same restaurant? He won’t say “No sir! That’s awful, the cook spits in it” even if that were the truth.
- A friend of theirs is sobbing in a corner, and they would ask “Is something wrong?” I wonder if they ever hear a reply like “No no! I am just doing tear Yoga as part of my Kung Fu training.”
- And their favourite seems to be the question they keep asking every kid they meet. “Mama acchhi hain ya Baba?” Give the kid a break man, I know there are too many dysfunctional families around but you don’t have to mess up the kid’s mind just because you don’t have anything more sensible to ask.
And then there are the completely unnecessary statements of the obvious.
- “Ohh! It’s ten p.m.” Yes sir I am not blind and I can tell the time from a clock.
- “It is so hot today.” Hmm! Really? I wouldn’t know, since I live in an air-conditioned hole in the ground.
- “Light aa gayee” or even more irritating “Light chalee gayee!” I have not come from the Stone Age, I know what it means when the room suddenly goes dark or is lit up.
And Finally the totally illogical ways to start a sentence that are too common to tolerate now.
- “I don’t think I should say this…” Then don’t say it na! Why can’t you trust your own thinking?
- “Promise me you won’t mind” Now how can I make such a promise without knowing what you have to say. You could be about to say something indecent about my mother for all I know. Do you really think I decide to mind or not mind something before hearing it?